“Hi everyone, I’m Cheung Nga Man. Welcome to my photography exhibition ‘Floating’. Right now, I’m in a state of going out, walking on a footbridge, heading to the light rail station, and my destination is Sham Shui Po. I’m going to set up the exhibition, so I thought I’d take this time to chat with everyone.”
Yawen, who hasn’t been back to Hong Kong for almost a year, opened the recording of the photography exhibition “Floating” with this statement, slowly informing everyone of her return.
This time back in Hong Kong, she held a New Year’s photography exhibition “Floating”, taking an experimental approach to show everyone a glimpse of Hong Kong again, and sharing with everyone her vision of home. The effect of each decaying photo is the result of the film being destroyed, soaked in different drinks, or even rinsed in Victoria Harbour water, and the seemingly deteriorated images are an unexpected surprise of this experiment. Whether the “bizarre” colors are a success or a failure, no one can define it. Just like when “decay” becomes the norm, no one knows how it will end. Perhaps this is just a process of becoming more beautiful.
地點：小房子 by Prff （深水埗大南街196號地鋪）
日期：即日 – 1/17（週二休）
時間：12:00 -7:00pm
We all experienced a long and exceptionally heavy 2019-2020 together. For Jiang Yawen, who returned to her hometown early last year, the feelings were even more profound. In this worst of times, but also the best of times, everyone faces turbulent social atmospheres and personal struggles. The meeting of souls becomes even more precious.
During this hurried journey, we were fortunate to have Yawen agree to an interview and photo shoot. If all encounters in the world are reunions after a long separation, let’s sit down together and have a chat this rare time we meet.
「不要太在意自己擁有的東西，所有事情都是一個階段」
For the past 13 years, Chiang Ya-wen has always found it as easy as “buying a plane ticket” to return from Taiwan to Hong Kong. However, since the outbreak of the epidemic, even she herself could not predict that wanting to return to her homeland would involve so many obstacles. This time returning to Hong Kong to curate an exhibition, she endured a total of 35 days of self-isolation, all in the hope of encouraging everyone to move forward together through a small exhibition, offering encouragement and comfort to those of us who hold both anxiety and curiosity about the future.
Perhaps for Chiang Ya-wen, being able to spend this extraordinary period with everyone in Hong Kong is also a kind of blessing. The photography exhibition was able to proceed smoothly thanks to the help of friends from all walks of life, especially the staff of the venue and planning unit “Little House,” and of course, the friends who came to see the exhibition in Tai Nam Street. Because of everyone’s support and unity, this exhibition brought deep meaning and became the biggest memory and harvest of her return to Hong Kong this time.
For Jiang Yawen, 2020 was a challenging yet enlightening year. Looking back, the exhibition originated from her own worries, but in the turbulent times, it made her understand “loving oneself” more.
Yawen, who appears strong, elegant, and independent, is actually shaped by her environment. At the age of 17, she entered the workforce and took on the responsibility of supporting her family. As the eldest daughter, whenever her family faces any hardships, she never hesitates to protect them. She takes pride in being able to contribute to her family. When she first arrived in Taiwan, Jiang Yawen described herself as a blank sheet of paper, needing to readjust in every aspect such as language, lifestyle, and culture. “It’s really difficult for foreigners to settle down there,” she said. Now known by locals as the “boss lady,” how many people truly understand the difficulties she has overcome?
But when faced with fear and confusion, she described herself as a horse in a race. “Whenever a sense of crisis appears in front of me, even if I am very scared at the moment, when I know I need to sprint, I will still blindfold myself and rush forward at full speed.” She openly admitted that she has always approached things with this mindset from childhood to adulthood. Whenever she makes up her mind, she must overcome all obstacles, and after each sprint, she actually doesn’t care about the outcome too much. Just like the upcoming “Floating,” what she cares about is whether she has tried her best in the process.
Arriving at today, Chiang Ya-wen is also grateful that it is this mindset that has made her accustomed to always “crossing boundaries” first, overcoming the imbalances accumulated in the past through countless setbacks and pushing the limits, shaping the version of Chiang Ya-wen that everyone sees today.
「如果一種脾性，接近四十年都是這樣子的話，你應該選擇接受和好好與它相處。」
In conversation, Jiang Yawen often openly talks about her age without reservation, joking with everyone that she is an auntie / older sister. At 38 years old this year, her candid attitude towards her age is truly admirable.
Approaching the age of 40, she faces it calmly without fear or taboo. Looking back, she admits that her younger self before the age of 30 was still trying hard to overcome difficulties and change the flaws mentioned by others; but now at the age of 38, she begins to understand that if a certain temperament or flaw has been the same for almost forty years, perhaps “acceptance” and “getting along with it” is the true reconciliation.
Being so honest with herself, Jiang Ya Wen actually learned to understand and be with herself only after leaving Hong Kong. Leaving her comfort zone in Hong Kong, she discovered in Taiwan that people can have many different ways of living, and that one must learn to love oneself in order to have other possibilities. After many years of ups and downs, she finally carved out her own path in life.
She is more afraid of not being able to be herself freely than of getting old.
The only thing that scares me about “getting old” is if you still can’t do what you want to do freely today, then why bother? I don’t want to waste society’s resources.
Chiang Ya-wen describes herself as always being a girl who is enthusiastic about making contributions. Although she may not be able to bring about any changes to society or the world, she has always believed that in life, at the very least, she should make some contributions to herself and her family. “If one day I lose this ability and become a burden, I may have lost my own value.”
「其實我從不留戀從前的自己」
And all these experiences, brewing, and growth, as she pointed out: “To be able to elevate Chiang Ya-wen to this level before the age of 40, everything depends on herself starting at the age of 17.” Although she did not specifically mention it, 2020 happened to be the twentieth year since she entered the workforce. Mentioning work naturally makes people curious about her past singing career, but it turns out that she has never saved her own CDs or interviews.
“Because I feel that once these things are done, it’s enough to just keep them in my mind. This also explains why I never cling to my past self. I am grateful to have experienced the past, but I never wanted to commemorate anything about myself. Instead, I am more curious about tomorrow or the future version of myself.”
Not looking back, not regretting decisions, focusing on the present life and what Yawen currently has is her attitude towards life. She has learned to let go of attachments, slowly accepting that everything in front of her is temporary, whether good or bad people and things, they will eventually leave her one day. The most important thing is to know how to say thank you when saying goodbye, and then continue on her own path.
Although she is not nostalgic about her past, she is a person who cherishes and reminisces about the past. The tastes of childhood, old-fashioned shops, vintage items… These things full of historical significance and traces of time have always been what she strives to preserve and cherish. She insists on refurbishing and repairing old things, just like “Heartland Daily” in Hualien, hidden on the second floor of an old building, exuding a strong retro atmosphere of an old mansion, full of old Hong Kong sentiment in both design and decoration.
“Mindful Daily” quickly became a well-known small shop in Hualien. Do you think Yawen is a very business-minded person? But she says, “Actually, everything now, including what you see as ‘entrepreneurship,’ is something that I derived from seeking to follow the rules of life. I have never fantasized about any ‘dreams.’ Even now, I don’t have much ambition.”
That being said, she is also grateful to live in Taiwan, where life is fulfilling and satisfying for her. While Taiwan may not necessarily make her rich or provide for all her material needs, she has found the life she needs here. Just like preparing for the “Drifting” photography exhibition, even if it means taking some risks, spending some money and time, the most important thing is to be happy and satisfied, especially at her age where she can afford it.
And she also hopes to do a little more, this time back with another mission, she has prepared a small amount of 2021 calendars in various small shops in Hong Kong for everyone to pick up, so that everyone can get to know these local small shops, and also spend the winter with everyone in another way.
「原來這樣的放縱，反而令所有事情的掌握力都回來」
Bidding farewell to 2020 and welcoming 2021 with a performance of “Floating”, although Chiang Ya-wen did not explain, it looks more like a declaration of self. After a year of baptism, Chiang Ya-wen described herself now as a sailboat, drifting aimlessly in the sea, but this instead allowed her to see another sky, another world, turning her from someone who heavily relied on plans into a “do today’s work today” person.
“Over the past 20 years, I have never tried to ‘hea’ for so long; the old me, if I had lived through such a life or vacation, I would immediately become anxious and even think ‘will I be punished by the heavens’, but last year I started to learn ‘本䠋’, and then I found that such indulgence actually brought back control over everything.” I believe even she herself never thought that constantly striving in life would ultimately lead to this kind of floating state.
Having lived a life of hustle for 20 years, Jiang Ya-wen chooses to slow down today, even though she foresees life losing its momentum. She openly admits that she has never worried, perhaps influenced by her personality and past experiences. Now, she has adapted to the passing of things around her, even letting go of years of fear and constraints, making her feel exceptionally light and at ease.
As for the future, what does she want to pursue? Goals, aspirations, they are not that important. Just hoping for her family’s health, three meals a day, and no longer being blackmailed by invisible fears. If she must share one thing, her answer is:
“I believe that in a few years, I may move to live in the deep mountains, or go to a place where there is no phone signal. Or, I have always felt that one day I will disappear from the world, and then everyone might say, ‘Huh? What is Chiang Ya-wen doing? Not quite sure.’ And then the topic ends like that. This is one of the lives I have longed for.”
Strength and youth will eventually burn out one day. Through years of reflection and understanding, Jiang Yawen gradually realized that since time is limited, why not take a look at what is left in the bag, and help those around us and in front of us now, even if it is a trivial influence, as long as it is spent in the right place. At the very least, continue to live at this pace, so that when you retire to the deep mountains in the future, looking back at those scenes, you can exchange for a heartfelt smile and proudly say to yourself, “Youth is never wasted.”
最後，蔣雅文是一個怎樣的人？
A decade ago, everyone knew Mandy Jiang Yawen from 3T; more than ten years later, she returned to her original name “Yawen” and embarked on a completely different life. Compared to the name Mandy, Yawen is more likable and friendly. Although she said it was a name that evolved in response to environmental changes and she didn’t particularly prefer it, the word Yawen highlights her natural and comfortable demeanor more under Pinyin. Looking back, when she was in the entertainment industry, her image was relatively vague, and her stardom was mediocre; on the contrary, after moving to Taiwan to develop her favorite career and living seriously without the halo of a star, her real image left a deep impression on people, even being hailed as the “first generation literary goddess.”
She, who looks elegant and beautiful, is actually a contradictory combination, making it difficult to categorize her in a single way. She may appear fragile on the outside, but she is strong and independent on the inside. A girl who traveled from Hong Kong to Taipei, then ventured to Hualien before returning to Taipei, facing challenges along the way; she is active online, enjoying sharing with others, yet in real life, she is introverted and slow to warm up. She doesn’t dwell on her past self but loves all things nostalgic; she is a simple person yet incredibly complex, impossible to classify in a single way because her personality is so multi-dimensional and vivid, with a realness that is undeniable.
So it’s a bit difficult to describe Jiang Yawen as a person, and she herself agrees. But it doesn’t matter if others don’t understand, as long as she understands herself, even if her soulmate never appears.
“I should say, originally I still had expectations for the appearance of a soulmate, but later I found that it’s better to leave it in fairy tales. Instead of spending a lot of time searching for someone to understand me, it’s better to spend a little more effort to understand myself,” she shared. “Because I feel that if you put such hopes on others, life will feel very unsettled, as if you are living for others, but in fact, your life should belong to yourself.”
The truth is often hard to accept, and many people choose to avoid reality even after living for most of their lives, denying their true selves. Jiang Yawen continued, “If you still don’t understand what kind of person you are now, it’s not a matter of intelligence or wisdom, but rather whether you have paid attention to ‘listening to yourself.’ I am someone who will take the time to listen to my inner voice.”
Even Jiang Ya-wen herself believes that today’s achievements are all thanks to the accumulated experiences over the years, allowing her to establish a strong understanding with herself. Although sharing the past decade of her life may sound a bit elusive from her mouth, every time she expresses her thoughts, she discovers that every word is resounding.
After saying so much, what kind of person is Jiang Yawen? Everyone can observe and pay attention by themselves. Anyway, she has learned to no longer hide herself, living openly and naturally. Hopefully she will continue to maintain this authenticity, no matter how the world changes, she doesn’t have to deliberately change, doesn’t necessarily have to be assimilated, and doesn’t have to fight alone. In this vast world, there is always a space for one’s own existence.
That is the most powerful belief in believing in the beauty of the world.
—
Producer: Vicky Wai
Photography: Max Chan Wang
Videography: Andy Lee & Mandy Kan
Styling: Vicky Wai
Grips: Tom Tong & Hsiao
Set designer: Haley Lai & Nick Lo
Make Up: San Chan
Hair: Him Ng
Video Editor: Andy Lee
Editor: Carson Lin
Design: Tanna Cheng
Wardrobe: Sacai、Fendi、Tiffany&Co.
