Jeremy Lee / PRESENT: PERFECT TENSE

In the conversation with Li Junjie Jeremy, the most repeated phrases are “in my opinion” and “for me”. The emphasis on “I” does not stem from self-centeredness, but rather from the process of waiting and self-discovery. After calmly picking up and sorting through various aspects of oneself, one can finally establish their own values and solidify their position at MIRROR. “I used to talk a lot about waxing and waning, which I find quite interesting because it can be applied to the twelve characters in anime. The biggest realization I’ve had in recent years is that as long as I know what kind of person I am, I’m not afraid of comparison.” In that moment, the rhythm of one’s own life was perfect for Jeremy.

You have to wait patiently.

Unforgettable moment when Jeremy “changed face” on the award stage, holding the Best Newcomer cash prize trophy. He cried with red eyes, stuttered in his thank-you speech, started singing, and instantly turned the redness in his eyes into charm. At the same time, his heart also settled: “It’s not about feeling powerful after winning, but feeling more at ease and confident, thinking that I can continue on my own path. In the past, I always lacked a sense of security and cared about what others thought.” He started attending auditions at the age of fourteen or fifteen, thinking he was well-prepared after practicing two songs, but after multiple failures, he finally decided to take lessons. It was already when he was eighteen years old when he auditioned again, which exceeded the age limit. During that time, he was closest to giving up, considering becoming a low-key ordinary person or working as a flight attendant.

“In the long wait, the biggest demon in my heart is the desire to give up. At that time, I thought maybe I wasn’t meant for this industry. During the wait, I couldn’t see the end. I know that hard work will yield results, but how long do I have to work hard? Why do I always have no results? This is a question I constantly ask myself, and it is the most tormenting thing during the wait.” It took him three years to release his own work, and he knows that many people also feel that he waited for a long time. But during those three years, he knew he wasn’t ready yet, so he focused on various experiences. The waiting wasn’t even difficult, it was definitely worth it.

Dangerous and deadly charm

Looking back at the “Produce 101” competition, he described himself as a blank slate with limited stage experience. Everyone said that Jeremy was very K-Pop, but lacked personal characteristics. Mentor Liu Meimei suggested that he develop a more enchanting style. At the time, he purely believed that the mentor was earnestly searching for everyone’s shining point and didn’t want to disappoint her good intentions. He also wanted to fulfill the task she had in mind for him. However, being enchanting is not as straightforward as being masculine. The line is relatively blurry and it is difficult to grasp. “The danger of performing like this is that you might accidentally come off as a man pretending to be a woman. ‘Is it not good for a male singer to perform normally?’ There might be such voices. Will an enchanting performance make people dislike me? I have a lot of concerns in my heart. After all, in this industry, I hope that the audience likes and remembers me, but I don’t want them to remember negative things. At that time, I really didn’t have strong confidence in being able to handle it.” He started by imitating and on his reference list, Hong Kong’s representative was Roman Tam and “brother” Leslie Cheung. Brother wore Manolo Blahnik high heels with bright beads on the “Crossing 97 Concert” and Jeremy thought it looked especially good. Whether brother was wearing Manolo Blahnik or a Jean-Paul Gaultier men’s skirt, it all seemed natural and that kind of fusion was what Jeremy wanted to learn. In addition, he mentioned SHINee’s Taemin, who presented a bewitching androgynous charm with a unique sense of youthfulness in his solo work, which broadened Jeremy’s imagination.

“Everyone interprets ‘yao’ differently, and it should be based on expressing who you truly are. If you want to convince others, you must first convince yourself. Even if I want to interpret ‘yao,’ I can’t just force myself to be ‘yao’ and call it a day. If I do that, it will never truly come from within. So, it takes years of self-brainwashing to believe that I can do it. Now, it has become my personal style and easier to express the ‘yao’ that my heart desires. Therefore, I am not afraid. I have always been like this.” Every performance, he tries to add some clever ideas and designs, based on the comments from fans after the performance, as well as reviewing his expressions and body language on stage, so that he can do even better next time.

An example is the individual segment of the “Monster” performance at the 2021 MIRROR concert. Initially, it started with normal dancing, but then it seemed like there could be a little more, so they added the action of licking their hand. Slowly taking risks, slowly pushing things to the extreme, the audience in another scene can witness a different him. Just like the fourth individual work released this month, “CLOSER,” which outlines the ambiguity of unrequited love in a Spanish suite style, different from the darkness and inner monologue of last year. This year, it welcomes a wave of bright and lively heartbeats: “Last year’s three works revolved around self-discovery. Now, many people are in a state of confusion. I hope that everyone can discover the patterns they like and want to pursue, and then make choices and love themselves. Life is already difficult enough, I hope everyone can be comfortable in being themselves.”

In a crowd of realistic and imaginary art genres, the Grotesque Art, or the derived Grotesque Aesthetics, is a blank space in mainstream art history, but it has quietly emerged in the art world in recent years. In last year’s Venice Biennale “Secret Art” section, the “The Witch’s Cradle” and “Seduction of the Cyborg” presented a strange charm. Many of the works are based on everyday faces, but they distort or exaggerate people’s expressions, mixed with dark and even eerie textures. Although it may not completely match the mainstream aesthetics, it is unforgettable. Before embarking on the enchanting path, Jeremy knew that this was not something that most Hong Kong audiences could accept, but he had his own interpretation of enchantment: “Enchantment can be androgynous, but my enchantment is not completely androgynous. It can be beautiful, but at the same time, it can be domineering. My appearance cannot be considered handsome, but it has to go for a more unique and individualistic style.”

From moisturizer to male imagination

Yao, derived from the “female” radical, moves between genders on stage and indirectly expands the public’s imagination of gender in the workplace. Some people describe Jeremy as the most suitable spokesperson for cosmetics among the twelve members of MIRROR. In the past, the cosmetics market was almost exclusively for girls, but now it is a different world. Going back to the time when men’s skincare products were not yet popular, he jokingly said that when he was in school, he would buy a bottle of moisturizer from a store, and it felt as awkward and sneaky as a thief: “I feel that society’s acceptance of men’s appearance has indeed broadened. More and more male artists are selling cosmetics in advertisements, and many men are starting to use concealer and draw eyebrows. Everyone wants to look handsome or beautiful. If there is a way to improve oneself, why not give it a try?”

The appearance has improved, but whether the inner self is catching up is still a question mark. Jeremy described himself with a bitter smile, saying that he has always spoken softly like a mosquito buzzing, and is often told by his family to speak louder because he is a boy. “Being told ‘because you are a boy’ is something that happens frequently, but my voice has always been like this. Why should my speaking volume be controlled? And I cry quite often, so I am often reminded that a man should not cry. These things are imprinted in my mind.” How did he get through that time? Next time, he will try to raise his voice by a decibel or hide in his room to cry, at least attempting to satisfy others within his line of sight.

Later, even in recent years, he gradually gained the ability to ignore the expectations passed down from the previous generation, as well as the unnecessary frameworks and pressures. Crying is just a form of emotional expression, and men can also express themselves in this way, without being confined by established norms or being inhabited by strangers who go against their nature. “The reason why people are interesting is because everyone is a unique individual. There are billions of different people in this world, each with their own personalities and preferences, and it is only through meeting each other that sparks can fly. This is exactly what I have come to understand in recent years. Once you accept yourself, you will realize that the opinions of others are not that important. My self-evaluation is different from what you imagine. As long as I feel that I am not wrong, it doesn’t matter what kind of person you want to become, it has nothing to do with others.”

Perhaps some people think that at this age, one should be advancing rapidly with popularity. However, Jeremy is truly satisfied with the current comfortable pace: although he is a bit busier than before, he sees his desired career slowly developing and is happy to live alone with the freedom to do as he pleases. When he returns home, he has his beloved cat Nana cuddling by his feet. Perhaps one day, he will have the ability to move into a house where he can see the ocean, waking up in the morning to breathe in the deep blue expanse, which would be even more perfect.

_{Exceutive Producer: Angus Mok
Photographer: Ken Leung
Art Direction: Mimi Kong & Ken Leung
Styling: Mimi Kong assisted by Yoanah Chan
Videographer: Kason Tam, Alvin Kong & Fai Wong
Video Edit: Kason Tam & Fai Wong
Set Design: Lit
Text: 陳菁
Makeup: Cherie Wong @ Annie G. Chan Makeup Centre
Hair: Lydia Yung @ Chic Private I Salon Exceutive Producer: Angus Mok
Photographer: Ken Leung
Art Direction: Mimi Kong & Ken Leung
Styling: Mimi Kong assisted by Yoanah Chan
Videographer: Kason Tam, Alvin Kong & Fai Wong
Video Edit: Kason Tam & Fai Wong
Set Design: Lit
Text: 陳菁
Makeup: Cherie Wong @ Annie G. Chan Makeup Centre
Hair: Lydia Yung @ Chic Private I Salon}