Every love is a practice. Through spending time together again and again, gradually getting to know each other’s personalities and preferences, and establishing your own understanding in the small details of life. We practice listening and communicating with each other in the relationship, finding balance in the intimate world of two and the precious private space, learning to manage our own and each other’s expectations, and accepting our differences. Both loving and being loved require practice. If keeping the relationship warm is a required course in love, then the philosophy of breaking up is the final lesson in love.
Breaking up doesn’t have to be ugly, you just haven’t learned to let go yet.
Not being able to achieve the most perfect ending is indeed a regret. The separation of two people may not necessarily have a right or wrong, as long as it was once nurtured with care, the happiness brought by this relationship cannot be taken away by anyone. There is no need to deny the real feelings that existed between you. Perhaps the scenario of exchanging harsh words and blaming each other did not happen to you. At the moment when he declared the end of your love, you can even pretend to tell him rationally: I understand. You understand the reasons for the breakup, but you still cannot digest the fact that he couldn’t walk with you until the end.
No matter how much effort you put in, it’s just a form of consumption.
In the middle of the night, I suddenly thought of my ex, thinking that he is probably still working overtime now. I really wanted to remind him: no matter how busy you are, don’t forget to eat dinner, and don’t drink too much coffee. I habitually picked up my phone, sent this message to him, but didn’t receive a reply all night. Finally, the next morning, I received two blue checkmarks and a “thank you,” but the cold words made me feel rejected, as if even your care has become cheap. If you occasionally receive a bit of polite concern from him, you will contradict yourself, reminding yourself not to think too much, fearing that these unreal false hopes will only hurt you more. You don’t want that moment of “kindness” to affect your thoughts. This daily inner conflict and the emotional rollercoaster every second, only you understand.
Giving up on a person is like giving up on a habit.
After the breakup, you have been thinking for a long time about whether it is necessary to cut off contact. On one hand, you have made up your mind to throw away all the gifts he gave you and the messages he sent, but on the other hand, you can’t help but want to inquire about his news. Only then did you realize that the hardest thing to let go of is the habit of investing your time and thoughts in one person. Some say that cultivating a habit is not difficult, but giving it up is even more exhausting. Deleting those once sweet memories one by one is not easy. Before learning to fade out a relationship, you must first learn not to disturb the other person, give yourself time to be alone, and settle down.
The courage to hold hands back then, now also has the courage to turn and leave.
The one who was left behind is always harder to let go, seeing those familiar scenes, the feelings of sadness and resentment will still well up. Perhaps at this moment you are still unable to forget, but for this former lover who once loved each other but cannot be saved, letting go is the final respect. After all, whether it’s you or him, you are both practicing how to recover from the breakup, and adapting to a new life after leaving each other, so don’t make your emotional issues complicated.
Live well in the days ahead, find the rhythm of life, take care of yourselves, that is the final tenderness in love, and also the most important thing to learn in this stage. Don’t let current troubles erode your trust in love, and the right to continue pursuing happiness. Don’t worry, this transitional period of heartbreak will pass, don’t be afraid to start anew, those emotions that once troubled you will eventually become the courage to step into a new life.
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